From "Good Parents Bad Parenting" -
Chapter 14 - When Your Child Does Not Meet Your
by Lisa Dunning, MA, MFT
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In whole or in part in any form
can a parenting book help build the self esteem
of a child
without first building the self esteem of the
- Lisa Dunning, MA, MFT
Your Child Does Not Meet Your
you and your partner were expecting your
first child, you probably enjoyed
mapping out their entire future. If you
are raising a girl, you may have
envisioned her as the first female
president or a ballerina or a doctor. If
you are raising a boy, you may have
imagined him as a famous athlete or the
president or a lawyer or doctor. If
these were not your child's goals, you
probably had other goals equally as
grand. After some time with your child,
you may have realized that your son was
not as athletic as you had hoped. He may
be a sensitive child, enjoying arts and
crafts and listening to music. Or you
realized your daughter was not the
smartest child in her class and was as
graceful as an ox. At some point in
their development, you began to realize
your goals for your child were not going
to happen. As parents, we hold on to
these dreams until we realize that our
child has dreams of their own or has no
interest or talent for the dreams we
envisioned for them.
Death Of A Dream
do you do when your partner wants your
child to be that super athlete, movie
star, singer, or Nobel Prize winning
scientist and yet your child shows no
interest in any of your partner's
dreams. Or perhaps your child shows an
interest in being a famous athlete but
is born with two left feet. The
difficulty comes when you try to
communicate your disappointments in the
loss of the ideal child, or dream, to
your partner. As parents, we often place
our expectations on our child because we
did not fulfill our own expectations.
Parents who fully pursue and achieve
their dreams, generally do not pressure
their child to pursue the same dream.
They strangely almost discourage their
child from following in their footsteps.
Perhaps your partner wanted to be that
famous athlete, movie star, singer or
Nobel Prize winning scientist but did
not have the talent, family support or
the drive to fulfill that dream, so they
kept the dream alive in their child.
have helped thousands of families over the years
I am confident my parenting book will help
- Lisa Dunning, MA, MFT
reading my book, if you feel
my parenting book
to improve your parenting,
failed to improve your
relationship with your child
and failed to improve your
relationship with your
parenting partner, notify me
within 30 days of your
purchase date and I will fully
refund your $17.95."
- book for 17.95
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